Not me~

recently finding myself struggling to be doing what i m doing now~it was ok in the beginning but slowly i found myself in no where..just making myself tired and breathless to be thinking what i m not suppose to..but the more i continue being like this..i m suffocating~i keep telling myself there's nothing you cant pass through just keep remind myself what awaiting in the finish point..but i really have no more energy to fight what keep on stop me and make me feel more bad inside..just like how i have imagined it to be..but it just felt like a glass you hold so high wishing everybody could see it just fall so hard on the floor..wishing to cry so badly but keep on holding it..while doing what i m doing..i keep on holding my faith to make it the best..i have pass through so many experience when i m doing so much but get nothing in the end..so i dont see myself cant pass through this..
Living in 2010 i found myself have changed to someone who doesnt want to trust anyone anymore..
But still acting strong go on like nothing ever hurt me...
it funny how i see myself with tears
but i m trying very hard to smile back like how i suppose to..
by myself..
i need to learn not relying on others
i just wanna be the girl who is truly holding strong for what she have..
friends and family <3
i will just keep what i m feeling a side till i found someone i could really trust with all my heart
when that times come
it time for me to bring a commitment in a relationship
and what ever happen i will hold it to the end..
i dont want to make it like what i have done before..
last but not least i will smile truly with my heart again..
i will be happy =)
i have faith in myself <3