why i,m getting more dumb,not realizing its getting more and more unreal.

person who keep believing for a change and commitment but getting more n more insecure..first its amazing..cnt even describe those feeling..no wonder there would exist step in relationship.i never believe and keeping my faith..never know it hurt more than what i expected.cnt breathe cnt think of anything..i hate those feeling i m afraid of that feeling..i thought i could keep it..but from the start i knew it was too damn good to last..until i felt it unreal..so i m expecting the same feeling..but i m getting the heart that is weak..i think i need to find back the strong me..the one who hold still her dignity..i m losing myself..i dont care i promise anything if i felt something wrong i will walk away like i always do..i m letting myself hurt anymore..i m not crying n worrying anymore..for you..not worth....and now spending time travelling..i learn i could learn without you..i observe what a girl really deserve..with or without you..its my life!..