hey hey guys~i m back~=)
miss me and my story?
well thereisnt much things but this special little happened just occupiy all the space for me being happy that's meeting someone so special in my life
wondering who?
i m not gonna tell
well if that someone looking this
i think you know who u r..
=)
having u in my life in the end december of 2010 really make me realize there;s still someone who make smile again so bright =)
but in this new year 2011
i m gonna accomplish a task
from changing the arrogant isabel to someone who understand and react maturely on the right situation
i m gonna be someone different that will shine out and be the spotlight in everyone eyes
i m gonaa take everything to be success
i know it will take a ling time but i m not afraid of the hard work
cz i will make it thru i m not gonna be the little girl people can look down
especially to some people out there who give me the expression on their face
you know what it really does affect me in my life but this is the only thing which remind to work hard to show you guys what im really made of
i m indenpent and i will always be
the more negative you thought of me will give me the strength to turn you down~!
2011!JIAYOU!=)

still the same~

the same feeling haunt me back again~
like the same old pain~
when you needed someone to talk to
when you approaching complicated stuff
there's not a thing you can even do~
but just acting strong and make it thru the night alone~
but the heartache can seriously make you cnt breathe at all
wanted to sleep and forget it all like what you can do
maybe this stupid heart is still soft..
never learn the lesson taught
TIAN ZHEN de me..
why will i ready to give it 100%..
when there's always something to stop your life being smooth
Still grabbing the blanket so tightly hardly breathe normally
i dont want to cry cz i know if i do i know i will let it go all..
all the tiredness and sad memory corrupt in one night
have you ever taste this feeling?
back home everyone doing their stuff doesnt even notice your presence at home
everyday i fight for my future or something
a thousand more words i need to choose
i will be alright cz i need to be brave and go over the limit which stop this life of mine to be happy
if i give up i lose to you that's faith~i dont believe there's not a single moment i can be success.
y

what my bro really wan me decide

My bro came back~yeah~how nice it feel when there's someone home i can talk too~but he is going back again and start working at brunei~=( it's upset when you got back late from work looking around your home there's only your pet welcoming you shaking it tail and accompany you thru your night~i wish it was like before me and my parent having fun together.i missed the time we r together in brunei~when i have no doubt living life like a child..but i m still growing up..'sigh'..it was nice that my bro would ask why i m kinda blur when i got home cz i didnt realize he was home till he say tmr bring me out~>.< omg..my mind is blank..then suddenly he ask what wrong with me..i was like..he tell me just say it..i answer i m afraid i will cry very badly if i pour it all out..so i didnt talk much just went to my room and listen to some song..
then he asked me..if in this world there's nothing stop you~what you wanna become..
i told him i wanna study well and get a a good job and live my life..he ask me where is the isabel who wanted to go for entertainment road saying wanted to be famous and everything..i think again..oh the dream i hide long time ago..i 'sigh'..then he told me..if i really wanted something i shouldnt give up and told me next year bring me to brunei and try to chase my dream and his friends will help me on it..but the first thing i need to change was my thought..so i can continue finished all my path..i think and think....maybe it times to achieve what i really want..

Not me~

recently finding myself struggling to be doing what i m doing now~it was ok in the beginning but slowly i found myself in no where..just making myself tired and breathless to be thinking what i m not suppose to..but the more i continue being like this..i m suffocating~i keep telling myself there's nothing you cant pass through just keep remind myself what awaiting in the finish point..but i really have no more energy to fight what keep on stop me and make me feel more bad inside..just like how i have imagined it to be..but it just felt like a glass you hold so high wishing everybody could see it just fall so hard on the floor..wishing to cry so badly but keep on holding it..while doing what i m doing..i keep on holding my faith to make it the best..i have pass through so many experience when i m doing so much but get nothing in the end..so i dont see myself cant pass through this..
Living in 2010 i found myself have changed to someone who doesnt want to trust anyone anymore..
But still acting strong go on like nothing ever hurt me...
it funny how i see myself with tears
but i m trying very hard to smile back like how i suppose to..
by myself..
i need to learn not relying on others
i just wanna be the girl who is truly holding strong for what she have..
friends and family <3
i will just keep what i m feeling a side till i found someone i could really trust with all my heart
when that times come
it time for me to bring a commitment in a relationship
and what ever happen i will hold it to the end..
i dont want to make it like what i have done before..
last but not least i will smile truly with my heart again..
i will be happy =)
i have faith in myself <3

My way~

DON'T you realize everything over~aint i look serious for what i said?
i already forget you~and i have no more feeling for you~
if you keep treating me this way i will feel disgusted by you
my life already pretty fucked up and i thought you will able to makeit better
i was wrong~
I just hope you dont keep coming in my life and ruin everything~
i m happy now~i really am~
i dont need you to make me smile again~
do what you suppose to~not coming here and make me feel like there's a chance again~
cz there's isn't~

shouldn't be me~

shouldn't be active in anything shouldn't have come Miri~
should know i will get hurt
should know i shouldn't believe
should have know dont start this life at all~
felt so hurt no one could see through me with my life
i m tired i really am.. the only wish now is just lay down and everything back to normal
where i can still smile again
Noone can feel what i feel now..
Upset like how i use to be
shoulder to cry on is what i need now
but i m crying on my pillow
i wanted to shout
i just wish my life never contained you all
it's pretty fucked up life i m in
growing is not fun at all
not wishing to hate but it's so unfair!
i m tired already!
can the world let me rest for awhile atleast?!

exam coming~

here we come again~stuff a student hate to face~EXAM!gosh i wsh there's no exam for being a student~but it will be bad too lols~i never been studying like this before so it doesn't feel like me aint it?what to do~the first step to success is to study and strike for the best then to the future life~gotta get my head straight and plan my life now i guess~TIME to be matured!no more childish stuff no more react with emotional thought and move forward like a indepedent WOMAN~wow~sound old..haha i wanna change my life to be better now..i dont care what others have to think abt me because you never know me you will never understand me and my life because i do what right and i m not afraid to confront for it.but there's always mistake and we learned and we experienced so you gotta give ppl breaks and stop insulting them for one small mistake~
Living in my life really have make tough and strong mentally because i kept telling myself there's nothing you CAN'T do~You just need to try and NEVER GIVE UP!when you try there's more benefit than you dont~and NEVER SAY NEVER!
peace out ppl! take care!
^^